holiday spend

seems long time that i dint updates my peeps what i'm going on in this period of time
how i spend my time
quite a busy holiday
the 1st thing that i always do is search for jobs
n feed myself
2nd thing is let myself have enough rest cuz after my holiday
i need to get back my sleepless night
assignments only..
3rd thing is get back to meet my friends and have my holidays.

haha.. my life must full of appointments =)

i had meet my ucsi darlings

although it past long time ago
but u all still in my mind ^^

sorry miss mah that i rejected u for shopping cuz i need to work.
hope we can get together soon again.

here comes the fat hippo
from Australia

come to malaysia for vacation

we had a trip at pulau pangkor
with christine, alien and mermaid.
we had a great time, out to the sea
struggle in the sea
scream on the float
exhausted and joy after the gathered.

haha.. we disgust together =_=
sorry that dint have any pics for the trip
all with mich, because she is the photographer
blame her dint upload the pics. lolx



have a meet with yelloz...
with accompany of mich n jie er
chat about the past n current
how's life n so on..
n im still the one who was kena bully~
no changes.. haiz... poor little me

celebration of shuwei's birthday
went to full house, sunway giza

group photo =)

family members~

next holiday,
went to jb n singpore with chris =)
had a flight early the morning
but cuz of the late
we force to bought another ticket
haiz... wasted
but nvm cuz we had a great time also.



our flight ticket... 5C - my class
wohaa~
had lots of foods
famous cheese cake

gui tau kia, taiwan food, goreng pisang, unique cafes
and etc.

hoho... my special breakfast in town
ah pek mian.. said by chris

actually is a kind of wantan mee that taste very different form kl
they use chili sos not black sos
haha
taste gorgeous, like it.


a romantic place, full of lights n christmas deco

here comes the THAT'S CAFE

a good environment cafe



with jess n bunbun

saloon with boutique~

night bazaar

back to kl with cloths, chocolate n biscuits..

koreen food with 2 hungry cat^^

actually is 3 cuz im the 1 who suggest that
haha...

have our delicious lunch~ yummy....

like the beef there...wohoo
meet nichole n her bf there.

next section snowflake time
me n mich receive Christmas present form eli
haha.. my 1st christmas present
thx eli^^

my christmas eve
had a crazy moment with the L gang at maison

mich's birthday

went to melacca had layer cheese cake and satey culup
with alvin, arron, alien, mermaid, kent fo, christine , me and the birthday girl

christmas day at yelloz's house

we had steamboat and present exchanged
haha... had a great fun too..

Donald's lover birthday

we went to sunway lagoon
wet n dry ourselves
and fun with Mr. gaga
than celebrate his birthday at game zone.
happy birthday... hope u will be happy always^^

The last day of 2010
we went for hiking at bukit tabor..
with chris, mich, alvin n arron.
what a tired and excitement morning.
up n down the slop
every end of the year are full of suprise n excitements
this is mabel's life haha
steamboat n countdown at alvin house
uno with beers..
happy new year to 2011 and say good bye to 2010

冬季

每年的冬季我都是和婆婆过的
从小到大我都和她相依为命
一起吃，一起睡，一起谈心
但今年的。。
没吃到婆婆做的汤圆，
她突然生病了，没得和我们一块吃团圆饭
她一人在医院跟病魔对抗，
看到这情况真让人心痛。
希望她能够平安度过难关。

变

我知道不应该有比较的心态
但要求完美的处女座
总觉得我并不是你身边的最佳
不管我怎么去进步和改变
我都达不到那你身边的追求者

以前的我虽然不会很多，霸道
都自信满满的
但现在。。。
并没有那 坚持了。

life needs

everyone have their own hard time
therefore we must help when people in trouble
especially people who less convenient
who cant work for themselves
hunger with their weak body.

恐惧

今天我迷失了
在一个并不熟悉的地方
一个人在人群内寻找
失去的方向。

天空下着毛毛雨
鞋踏着路边的脏水
四处望着路上的指路牌
没方向的一直向前走
周围的路人都用奇怪的眼神望着
让我感觉， 我不属于这

要找的并还没找到
却弄得自己很狼狈
当时心情糟透了
还接到一个被责怪的来电
让我觉得更加无助

changes

1st day work for this hp fair at kl convention for celcom
meet some friendly girls.

meet a 38 called jenni,
told her about my life style while i just knew her for few hours ago
n i had nvr done that b4
the feeling is just like sharing yr personal stuff to a stranger
but its quite kidda good feeling while chatting with her
feel in a comfort way while we doesnt know each other much
had a long chat with her while i drove her back

the most ridiculous thing that i had done is i park the wrong place and had to pay rm30+ for my today's parking fees. is just OMG, my payment is wasted!!!

平衡点

年幼的时候会把爱情当儿戏
习惯接受别人对你的爱和付出
那时候的你也会理所当然的接受
久而久之，这也变成了习惯和依赖。
变得自私，无情，现实
像个无情的人。

当你遇上一个在乎的人
你会不知不觉地为他改变
尝试去混合他的生活
也很自然的为他付出
不像年幼时期的自私
也会介意对方的感受

有时候真的想说一句
我爱你。

概念

怀念平静的草原， 平静的生活。
每次都好像把自己弄得很疲惫
可能这是性格吧，
看不过眼让自己闲下来，
总把时间表都排地满满，
尽量让自己过的充实。

就是有这样的性格
时常冷落身边的人
我想把每件事都做得很好
分配地头头是道
但.... 我们都知道
没有十全十美的事
总会 有得有失

a night stop

went to melacca for C's assignments
made her late for her shooting time range
cuz of my failure planning.
decided to have a night at there
wohoo
just so sudden
we gonna try new stuff
haha
overnight in the car
something that dint try b4 that i request it.
sorry dear to make u so exhausted.
although these is abit tiring
but i pretty like these kind of feelings
park on the beach side
look at the sea view
listen to songs
seat beside her
and Andros into dreams.
is just a great experience although is abit dangerous.
because there having some car racing at there also..
haha.. i just like to try new stuff =)

we slept during the rain,
pity her not really can sleep becuz needed to keep on eye on me
haha.. im just a kid
n we r so kidda dirty..
we listerine just beside the road
haha is just so no image for C
she cant accept it..
n she say im just like a barbarian
than start to have some shooting
had a great old style breakfast
have a kinda fresh feeling

unluckily, we lost..
we forgot where we park the car
walk for an hr to just find the car
round n round
wt a bad luck for today..
but we had a great time n gain specials ^^

加油 =)

好像找回以前的推动力了，
我看从现在慢慢开始
我会把生活都调整一下，
过学生应该过的生活了。

杨琪要关闭自己了。
还有，我是不会输的！
等着瞧~

植物人

突然真的想让世界暂时停止
让我暂时离开世界，
当个植物人
做个在自己心里过生活的病人
给自己放大假
无忧无虑，
自由自在，
让自己麻醉。

哎呀~
快点考试，快点放假吧。。

不然我会疯掉！！

对不起，爱丽萨
浪费了你的时间和心思
让你白走一趟

我累了

为什么都是我做迁就的那一个？
为什么你们就不可以让我歇一歇？
为什么把我搞得那么狼狈？
都跟你说了我在忙，请别打扰我。
我已经够烦了。谢谢合作

sorry stonner young,
is not purposely dont reply yr message
cuz suddenly when to do some urgent things
and when i came back
sudah lupa to reply yr message,
sorry to make u so angry
im sorry.

你不知道我爱你

时间会证明一切
你以为受伤害的是你
但伤的最深是我。

空

感觉大家的心情都不怎么好。包括自己
有时候累，有时候闷，有时候忙，有时候空
没方向，没斗志
头脑装的太多无聊，
所以想把烦的东西都删除掉。
把脑袋保持放空状态，
好好歇一歇~

可能这就叫成长的过程吧~
心里只想一个人让时间慢慢的过，
已经没力气再换面具了。
我累了。


让我一人静静吧，
我需要时间休息。

爱丽萨，你也要加油哦。
我们都一起寻找吧，
目标在前面，
不要放弃 =）

random

i just feel to be alone =)
chillax~

偶然

刚接到爱尔文的来电，和他谈了几句。。。
可爱的他竟然吃佳美的醋，说我不理他了。
好啦。。 因为这段时间我和你都在忙。
然后你假期了，我都没去找你。
我知道是我的错， 对不起=) 要等我哦。。我会约你的。
所以放心，我怎么会舍得抛弃你呢？

今天和刘小姐约会，吃了爱玉和红豆冰，看了电影，发下脾气，谈心和白晃一下。
和你在书店的感觉不错，也渐渐爱上躺在你怀抱的感觉。
记得要把我说的都记着，不要去乱想东东！！

最近和叶桐有同样的问题
心脏和胃都不受控制，开始出毛病，
可能我真的是不可以当有压力的小孩吧。。。
一没有当老人家的角色，毛病就出现了。
一定是叶桐小姐传染的，因为她总爱传病毒给我。。lolx
希望你早日康复，要好好照顾自己哦…… ^^

my updates

haha... firstly want to thank all my friends that spend their intention for the surprise..
i had a 19 blast birthday =)

my 1st celebration is with my old gangs

miss snowie, ginny, shuwei, & baby ooi =)
went to sunway giza, curious about the decision about the restaurant.
finally back to wong kok cuz of the big big cup...

having a good time with them.
& they bring me this..

thx for the present =)

2nd celebration.... with miss babu and michelle kong

3 of us celebrate birthday togather that we usually do last time.
but this time with an extra of kengli and tissue.

mr. kengli


mr.tissue

special flower for babu...

she ask him.. y so little flower?

lolx.. cute XD

we mix it up... rawr

self made oreo cheese cake form kengli
haha... future chef...nice cake
is yummy..

Lastly.. happy birthday to 3 of us ^^

3rd celebration from family.
early the morning, wake up by my mum.
ask me what present that i want for my birthday.
i said....* secret*
dad bring me to Malacca for the Nadeje cheese cake
pass by jongker street.
get some food.... but i miss my cendol... cuz of too many ppl
public holiday lah...

had dim sum back to kl..
lame~ haha
night time..
when to my uncle shop for curry fish head..
special recipe from himself, and he cook that on that night..
yummy.. like it so much^^
thx for yr spend... uncle desmond

4rd surprise from iact kaki, & 1 UFO dari help.

kena cheated by the acting of foo ywen and christine liew
damn it...i believe them..sucks
had a great surprise from my iact kaki & ywen
found them at room... playing monopoli
surprise^^


fenny, shom, carmen, steffi & xiao wei are playing hide n seek with mabel
ywen & christine become actress

will gonna have steamboat at resort..
wohoo... lets boil it
after the cooking section. starts their preparation...
the result is tadaa~





haha tQ to my dearest , who spend so much time for these... appreciate =) love u
haha thx for carmen helping up of wrapping the lolli flower.
thx for Rachel for helping up for the cheese cake

like it so much.. buddies.. thx
Happy PD trip

5th surprise from alvin, aaron and jason
sunday night reach my house, 3 of them culik christine into car n bring us to genting.
they covered my eyes when i went up alvin's myvi
all they way to genting, my head was dizzy, had a small chat with stoner young
reached there with coldness
went for a ride, i had make lotz of noise b4 my eyes was open
had a worst steamboat at genting..
tak sedap.. but still thx for alvin's spend
had a great moment, a different experience XD

6th belated celebration with usci gang
went wong kok n tumpang boey's birthday..
had a lunch togather
long time dint meet each other
was excited to see them... *happy*
i was left out lots of updates when these period time
my darling goin to be stewardess..
cool babe... u r so pretty..
hope u will be success for yr airline interview.. bless~
thx for yr effort for the gathering n celebration
love u darling... i will miss u.. after work also must ask me out also oh... dun busy go holiday without me...

lastly happy birthday to boey and myself ^^ lolx *syok sendiri*

the last 1 is form Anson young
she sent me a birthday card from brisbane
haha... touch...^^
although is just few words inside but it shows the inner message that contain.

wow... i dunno how she found a card that with my name inside...
some more it shows my horny inside.. lolx.
naughty ah...
real appreciate things that u done for me..
i knew n got it.. its stay
lastly thx for yr beloved card.. hubby

我累了

现在都忙着假期，功课都快累积成山了。
没那赶课业的心情，只想让头脑放放假。
最近荷尔蒙失调，情绪有点不稳定，不受控制，也很难入眠。
我需要甜品来调整，也需要工作去麻木。
我爱玩爱闯的热诚去哪了？
现在连修改照片都懒得理会了。
每天只会facebook, 不只是看看新的update 和comment.
现在无聊到看别人的照片，看了又看，然后去八卦别人的东西。
facebook 了，就看部落格，hotmail, 再不是就是对着电脑发呆。

真的不知道自己想干嘛！！

我是个烂人。

i just like to eat ^^

haha...
last night im wondering should i stay at kl with C n have shooting with her
OR accompany my daddy to melacca to fetch my granny back..

haha..
im a good daughter ofcuz final decision is......
to melacca with family..

haha...
actually im get attracted by the cheese cake from Nadeje..
haha.. wow.. im so in love with it..
so decided to write out and recommend everyone to try this out.

their special is " layer by layer"
really taste different..
N the best seller is still original.

ei... michelle yap & CK fo..
got green tea 1 leh.. next time bring u try.. ^^
haha... when u back~

i want to eat snowflake.. christine liew...

today finally is my last day to school..
tmr will start my raya break for 13 days.. wohoo..
i gonna date my friends..
pls wait for me... my darlings..
today sacrifice my training and went to tropicana mall
had sushi dinner with alvin's group n my group..
after dinner,
when to have a movie with my group
long time dint go for movie.. haiz... cuz of too much school work..
busy only..
saw PIRANHA
abit bloody for christine n mandy..
pity mandy, makes her vomit 3 times in toilet..
but not cuz of the show is cuz of the food that she ate..
haiz...
hope she can able to sleep tonight
after movie,
C drop me back to my car.
n my car stuck again cuz of ramadan
ish~
i need to wait until the stall close
round for at least half an hr to wait the time pass
finally get my car back surrounded by those rubbish
yark...


for michelle:
sorry dint chat with u in this period time
abit busy... hope u understand^^
but i also got always get track on yr fb n blog
so no worries
i always updated yr stuff
so dont u feel left out.
n some more..
heng~ stupid babi..
yr ass itchy ah..
go n flirt my C
some more use yr sweet voice n try to seduce her..
har..how u get her contact?
i jealous lo.. heng~

when i saw alien n kengli's situation,
i flash back yrs n mine
im wondering..
izzit a wrong decision to break up with u ?
with using a stupid reason that i cant able to get in long distance relationship
cuz i can really feel d happiness between alien n kengli
although they are far part away
but inside their heart between each other is just a cm distance close

看着心爱的人在受苦而你又却帮不上忙，
感觉很难受，无奈。
希望家人，朋友和身边的人都过得健康快乐^^
希望你们都早日康复。

mami having scan tmr... hope she will be fine & get well soon..
sorry that i dint accompany u when u needs me....
n let u being alone for these few days at home
no worries.. u will gain yr beauty and health back
i will not fall when u needs me
must take care for yrself..
i really afraid that i need to stand all by my own
u knew that i cant live without u.
no matter how stress or how many problems i had
i also can handle it by my own.
but without yr support
i will not know how to lead and continue my journey..
u r my best friend n mummy,
u knew all my stuff included homo life
u r the gorgeous mum that i ever had
n im proud to have a mum like u
thx god to let me as a daughter of you
i love u , 'mike' ( a weird name that i usual to call her) *likes*

我三天的快乐 换来你的悲伤

当我在旅行时，你来电了两次
我知道你有事，但因为你不要引起佳美的误会，
你把电话挂了。。
跟我说晚安和enjoy.............
回来时看到你的部落格，你叫我不生气
我办不到
你怎么那么笨。。。 做出这样的傻事
你知道我有多心痛吗？
没有勇气回来是因为我现在有了女友，
还是怕我会冷落你？
你几时做出这样的决定？
那你说一月回来是来掩饰的吗？
我就快给你气死了！！！
stupid anson young...........

a day have too many excitements..

1.realize that i contact with the wrong jason
than make me damn paiseh..
some more ask me out for date..
i takut la... friends ok la.. no others ok..

2. found out something interesting^^
get to increase the number of the same line group
wohoo... we r so unique^^

3. is a bad thing
just found out my expenses for this month
omg... i hv ard spend rm2700, and the month still hvn end
i dunno wt mabel jang trying to do..
spend money like tap water..
how she gonna spend over her limits
n she need to get some punishment..
1st, no shopping for her for the next month( september)
2nd, need to go to get herself a job immediately
no lazy at house anymore..
3rd, no outings during the study period b4 finals...


* the surrounding, pls keep on eye on her*

is just like that..

today went to night market to buy my tmr's breakfast
n i accidentally drop my phone
ish~ i cant see my screen now..
damn.. i need to survive without phone again..

i feel real bad after i read yr post,
n this afternoon have some conversation with monkey also
talk about ours
she ask me to keep a distance with u, to avoid u getting even worst
cuz if i still remain the relationship now it will may cause u cant able to let go.
but u know..
i cant make it..
u stay a important role in my heart, n will always there..
is not just a ex- partner, and a real friend that cant replace
n u know i will not leave my friends
some how i treat friends better than my other half
but i hope u not to just feel to let the pass go,
and accept others.
cuz i hope u really live happily, n can get a good mate ( if u really meet some1 that really fall for )
not just cuz of yr 赌气...
love u....^^

today done a bad thing..
brought christine ponteng..
went to dessert shop to have 汤圆
we fight for food as usual, cuz we have similar taste n likes
guess who won?
haha.... ofcuz is mabel jang, she always like to bully the person who love her...
ate yam with sesame ball.. nice^^ but the yam not sweet enough ... haha
but is just nice for C, loser ate peanut ball with ginger soup
yuck.... old people's taste
*i hate ginger*
n she forgot her glasses when we leave the shop,
made the waitress ran out to pass her belongings
paiseh lo~ lolx..

ei~ stupid christine... no more jealous...
u r in my post .. so no complains.. =)

for anson young..

i know u have a hard time for this period
n i hope u can stay strong..
u look damn chan in ekka's picture lo..
go do facial n put more mask^^
pls take care yr self babi..
hippo always not that strong like frog...
so hippo cant learn frog to stay up late night, not to bed
n if any problem must tell frog,
like wt hippo usual do^^
n mabel jang will always there for u...

JUST HAVE SOME RELEASE ^^

today no class for me
classmate went for holiday at JB n singapore
left me at KL
kena ffk by boey ( reason: sick)
ok..
i forgive
than this morning gave a call to my darling
force her to accompany for whole day
waste her time in saloon by waiting me to finish my hair dye n cut
ok..i have a new colour.. red
but only can see in the bright..
omg... i wan bright colour

my darling done a manicure while she was waiting~
rm30 for pinkish red
u can search for her blog to see updated pictures
cuz she is the photographer today^^
blog : http://tsukielissa.blogspot.com
had lunch n snowflake at subang
meet mandy at there..
*the snowflake kaki*
i forgot to bring my card to chop....
so i cant get the 2 chop for the free item.. ish~
after the sweet time that we had together,
fetch my darling to kajang
finally i got to know her house location..
so this christmas will pergi her house n mess up
wahaha~ elissa wait for us...^^
hope her lips will get well soon..
i see also heartache..
cuz the difference of colour..

烦...

i know im a selfish person
trying to maintain the relationship between us
trying to give a good impression
but i know i have done something sucks to u just now
n make u damn pissed off
n i want to tell u, i still got feelings towards my ex
n i hvn totally can let go the previous relationship.
n i don't feel to hide this from you.
cuz i really dont feel to lie.

although i have feelings towards u, that i do not aspect,
but when i saw yr moodiness,
i really dunno how to respond,
sorry for my greediness that i fall for 2 person on the same time.
i just need some time for it.

but i really feel fear n down when u dint reply my message
n im waiting for it..

im so useless

bad or good luck?

actually today need to have insurance exam, but this morning received alvin's call and told me that postponed to next week.
actually i should be happy to heard that cuz i hvn finish the topics that need to cover although i stay up late night to study..
some more i ate mcd for my supper... gemuknya~
d 2 sucks thing that i met was :
1st: mcd's stuff told me that the mcd delivery service that cover my house area is just until 11pm..
omg.. apa ini!!! force to go drive thru during the mid night.. improve abit la.. malaysia
2nd : im wasting the whole nite n morning to study the question with a wrong ans.. damn it~
cuz of i accidentally mix up with ans sheet for different sample exam question... the the most sucks thing.. i realize it in this morning.. damn it.. im wasting my whole night that memorizing wrong answer.. omg... damn stupid la..
luckily alvin told me the exam postpone, if not sure fail!!!
wasting my time, energy, sleeping time, postpone my meetings, and etc..
grhhhhhhh......

after the call.. start my fb-ing
mails n blogs.
that i miss it for last night
cuz im ard awake..
cant sleep when i can see sun lights..
so go search job, gossip in ppl's blog, and re-read your blog..
read back yr previous post, that normally i like to do it
it so touch~
still can make it to feel back those feelings
although i read it for lots of times
n u r in yr collage now.. really miss you
although i know i should not say that..

ya~ n need to thx steffi that stay awake that confirm me that not fall asleep last night.
sorry ...bengkak eyes~ ^^

sweet stuff

normally, ppl who close to me knows that im the person who not really like to eat sweet stuff.
but i do eat in sometimes..
i have been so long that i dint update my blog..
previously, im busying of withdraw from ucsi n settle the paper work stuff
n finding new collage to transfer,
n finally now im at iact.
ppl at there r quite different from ucsi
1st they are all fresh graduated so sometime i feel abit old at there
2nd is most of them are banana, omg
i cant speak Mandarin anymore... T_____T
* luckily not the whole class of bananas, if not suffer man.*
but the class activities at there are better than ucsi,
at least is not that boring.. haha
n more interactive between students n lecturers
n we always have group activities in class that ucsi do not have.
the most suffer thing is i need to wake up freaking early to prepare myself to school,
cuz cheras to jaya 1 is damn jam man..
will jam more than an hour, n usually i always late for class
no matter hw early i wake up
cuz my characteristic is NOT PUNCTUAL
n iact's lecturer are damn discipline
cant late for class if not will deduct marks * damn shit rite*
hope i wont fail my subject cuz i always late.
although iact's teaching plan is much more fun than ucsi, but is quite tired for me also
cuz the lecturer use all the lecture hrs that given
but ucsi normally teach 1 till 1 n a half hr only.
iact, 1 class is 3 hrs..
the most shit thing is the mac lab dun hv Internet connect in pc, so i need my iphone
haha


today went to see toy story 3 with my 20 classmate ^^
have fun with them also, n i had baskin today^^
because is pink Wednesday ♥
i wore pink pants n shoes today^^
so im getting discount for that.. haha

cuz im being emo for these few days,
so i need some sweet things to cheer me up ( elissa's recommend)
so had a high sugar content drink during this morning
n some candies in class
had ice cream b4 the show
n when im back i ate marshmallow^^

nice..
so today , the whole day is all sweet stuff.
it really cheer me up when i feel the moodiness from me..

n just finish a call from michelle,
talk for more than an hour like usual
make me feel that im still concern
thx ^^
take care la dear, get well soon ^^ *cares from me*

我的眼泪。。

上个星期四的下午，叶小姐的妈给了我个来电。
正好刚庆祝完爱莉莎的生日小派对，
跟我说了好多
叫我离开她女儿的话
而我就在哪儿听
载了david 和zizi 回家后
立刻眼泪在眼眶流下
不是她妈给了我难听的话
而是我害怕。。
她会我离而去
不是怕她对我不理不睬
而是怕她会为她妈而放弃我。。

刚才和她 skype 了一下，
她告诉会尝试改变自己，去变回原本的她
做回她应该做的东西， 而我也知道她很爱她妈。

虽然我预测到这个结果，但是当她亲口告诉我时，
我真的崩溃了，我真的很不想去接收这事实。
当时，我眼泪掉了
她也知道了，虽然我没哭出声
都不知道她怎样感觉到的。。
还是她已猜到我一定会哭？

以前，我都提醒她，我们现在是朋友， 叫她别想多
不果当刚才她跟我说：we will be close friend, but nothing more, and u should be that too.
那时看到这信息时，突然好像停止呼吸似的
好像已经快吸不到另一口气了
感觉好害怕
很恐怖。。

现在除了有空虚的感觉自外，还有一种被遗弃的感觉
好像没人可以给我依靠了。（除了朋友）
好像少了一个爱我的人
难道我只可以一个人撑下去吗？

tired day...

today have a replacement job for a friend
but actually i dunno who she really are.. blur*
as usual.. i always forgot stuff especially names...
that who i just knew them in short period time n seldom get in touch
i always forget.. paiseh la..

although the payment of job is not very high,
but i have no regrets for it cuz
i knew a good agent today..
friendly person...
n got to know a new girl called apple..
haha cute name..
today just keep talking to her
so time pass fast
yahoo..
although i need 2 wear high heels but i still feel better compared that i need 2 stuck in watson alone
thats make me feel damn sienzz...

after work meet up with edric n celyn..
drop them to drink tea house..

just so sudden..

actually i dont have any idea to post any thing cuz im not usual to post everything that i done for the day like diaries

today saw a touch drama that was so sudden cuz i stop watching drama long time, even tv programe

下一站幸福.. i like that little boy.. cute

cuz my internet hv abit problem that make me cant online for these few days
so force to watch tv proggrame

n make me cant get update with my babe's blog
saw elissa's blog..
feel abit sorry n guilty for her
suddenly the close friends of her are not with her in the school anymore
me, junyi, n meli
remain boey n celyn ( the old gangs of mass comm that we know for like so long ) actually just a year.. haha

i can feel her loneliness
n i feel sorry for her cuz im leaving her also..
n i will really miss u guys, n d moment that i spend with u all.. ^^

i hate my self

these few days busy with the days at iact..
went for their workshop and learn some basic stuff
n have their lovely lunch
iact sedang rugi.. haha
went to 8tv n fly fm, feel some disappointed with their system.

i mean wow.. kecilnya... 8864 n Quikie is on d same room..
so sempit.. pity d host n d videographer.

2nd day of the talk.. me n alvin sudah lewat for 1hr 30mins
cuz of d traffic jam n dim sum.

that dim sum is d most worst dim sum that i hvn had
n d service is so bad n slow. some more is costly..
1st time n the last time go there.

Bad luck for these 2 day also.. hv 2 minor accidents..
because i lack of sleep n make me cant fully focus in road.
i thought i will be very free to finish my book in a week time.
but lastly i cant even further my pages after the 1st time reading.

Aku memang busy.. haha

N sorry cant make it with d dates with my friends.. sorry guys
abit busy now... so i will keep my updates in blog
miss u all..

i need time , 24hrs per day is not enough for me
i need more to do my stuff, hv fun and play with my friends
N i also need some rest for my mind..

after 2 days workshop,
hv a steamboat dinner with alvin n chee long
hv some chit chat than went to blue with alvin
play to d max in blue
keep drinking
n the next day i regret when i flash back
what a mess on that night.
image spoilt man..
n i realise i cant get drunk anymore
n i don't want to embarrass myself anymore..
no mix alcohol drinks pls..
im not a good drinker..

空闲日。。

A message rang me up this morning
" darling wake up?" from elissa..
she told me she is coming to my house with david
but i remain my sleep after the message
haha.. i hvn wake la..
after 20mins of rolling bed than force to wake up >___<
they reached my house after i finish my brushing
n i still in pyjamas.. *shy* d only guy that saw me in this outfit..
open d door for them n continue my up keep.
still need 2 wait for boey until 12.30
b4 meet up with boey, eli n david accompany me for car wash.
panasnya.. all of us sweating.
after car wash meet up boey n hv chicken rice.
nike n alvin recommanded..
real nice.. but we order to much chicken n vege
n we should order more pork.. yummy
can feel d crispy of it.. haha
after our lunch then fetch them back to my house
n eli turn to be d driver.
me will continue to leisure mall ^^
not play or dates is just hv some shopping n pay my phone bills.
ei.. dun misunderstand im not buying cloths, shoes or accessories.
i just bought some hair oil n some magazine n book.
isnt unbelievable?
ppl who noe me knew that i hate books alot,
n usually i dont read haha..
After paying my bills i dint go 2 see any cloths stuff but i went to popular.
oh.. man
i went in n find some books that can get my attraction.
normally, magazine that mostly young adults like to read.
but i refuse to read also.. what a problem child
but i change my life today i bought 1 magazine n a book today.
hope i will finish that book.. dun repeat wt i done last time..

what should i do?

i have really no idea now... my mind is all stuck
should i temperory stop my studies now? or continue?
should i continue degree or start diploma
or even change courses?
nw i really realise, ucsi is just good in marketing in mass comm
not even film or advertise
n my wish is 2 learn about advertising in tvc
not just english, communication n writting.
i wan something new, not something that i learn b4 n just keep upgrading
n ucsi is more on acedemic.
d most important thing is i dunno wt course that really suite me
should i go for work as junyi say?
but i dun want 2 waste my time anymore, im aready late for half a year
before that usually junyi mah guide me when im in problem
n now she goin to go very soon
away from ucsi, mass comm
she scarifised her scholar...
my surrounding keep changes
because elissa maybe will stop too..
i hate this feeling cuz 2 close friend will be leaving and i dunwan 2 be alone T_____T
n i have no directions 2 lead my way in life
today is d last day for course selection
but im still empty now...

maybe im to free
cuz of having study week now
last time i usually rush for studies
but this sem
i do ntg
just wait time pass
haha
maybe im bored 2 studies jo..
or something else
dunno la... i also dun feel 2 think so much
just let it be

虽然她的部落各我看了很多次，但今天看了

竟然会掉眼泪
我不是放下了吗？为什么还会哭？
因为在生气， 他们那么开心吗？

我说了

不知道为什么今天突然会跟我妈说我是同性恋
不是有话题的连接
不是她问起
不是因为想念
其实 我也不知道为什么我那么突然
一路来我都不是很想给人知道我是同性
但之从叶小姐离开我后
我好像不这么在意别人对我的看法
不会怕给别人知道我喜欢女生
更会和朋友分享我和他的过去



一直隐瞒妈的。。最后也和她说了
我和叶小姐在一起8个月了。
你在我劲看到的是小姐的。。。不是先生的。。
我每次去找的也是小姐
妈。。对不起我瞒你那么久。

blood

last nite feel some toothache
thought tooth goin 2 rote
today felt that i that my gums keep bleeding
but cant see d blood in my mouth just can keep taste d blood taste when i swallow my saliva
need 2 go for a check up if this continue

todaY
early d morning received a call by alvin
he had an accident
maybe 1 month cant use his car for 1 month
poor thing.. cant mingle around.. without a car
maybe he borrow from gay lou and etc.
after that call turn sek wan.
than boey
tell me they all outside
walao..
just finish brushing my teeth only n i still in my pyjamas
open door for them 2 come in
let them saw my morning look that without any preparation.T.T

wait for me a moment
than accompany me for lunch..
than go writting class
again... mr. cheah's class
boring

lucky day..

before that im busing assignments, midterm, presentations, reports, jobs and etc..
finally nw all are goin 2 finish soon but final is comin.. T.T

today was a lucky day.. found a good car park n meets some friends that seems long time dint meet 2gather and chit chat.
lunch at old town.. having some ladies chat_sex
haha
interesting topic.. porny*
seems like d whole old town noe we are having this topic
shy*
than back home but some of them continue class
when i go 2 my car realize that i cant make 2 reverse my car.. T.T
damn kanasai lo.. block d whole road.. luckily got a foreign guy help me 2 reversed my car in a jam of cars..
so paiseh*
N today meet kah ming infront of ucsi but d sad things is he cant see me
maybe i dint put any make up.. haha T.T
walao just finish a call from alvin..
dunno chat for hw long.. listen until my ear so pain..
luckily he said his hp low battery.. haha

art work

today junyi tak pergi school, elissa went to jusco
sudden dun feel to continue class
ask boey and meli 2 company go leisure and touch up my eye brown
omg... d shape of my eye brown look abit weired..
dunno hw 2 discribe also..
this d 1st time went there and d last time also.
haha... sudden feel 2 do my nail for coming CNY
wohoo..
haha poor little alvin is alone at kl
and he cant find any job in this period of time..
2 bad la u.. become mushroom at home la^^
after nite market with mum, feel so lazy 2 do my nail jo..
so facebooking, check mail, and see blog as usual..
til 12mid nite..
sudden hv a mood do have some art work
brought some accessory and start my painting
red + pink + white flower
wait my nails 2 dry til 3am
shot plak d...
haha^^

have a done work and i like it
hope they wont been fall off when i go to sleep..

我们虽然不完美，但爱是最完美的。

a sentence of words that shows when i open a fortune cookie this morning.
love is perfect, even when we are not..
it really means in my situation now.
maybe im really too stubborn about the pass
about now
about the anger
about the fear
about the hurt
maybe i dont have the right direction to continue my journey
but today elissa gave me that
make me realize this is not really important cuz this is just will make yrself feel unhappy forever
hating her will just make yrself more hurt
she will be hurt, but the worst is yrself
no others
why u wan 2 make yr life so miserable?
i flash back d sweet moments during our relationship
see back the cup that u gave me,the words for me, the pics that u gave me, listen your voice through the cow,smell back the sweetness from d 34 hand made red roses, cutting my nail using yr nail clipper and etc..
we really had a happy moment, a experience..
a memory that u gave me..
n i will appreciate it
experience have good n bad
and love not only have sweetness.. it still including sour, bitter and spicy
N this is journey
i will try to learn and gain more mature
not to fall so easily
maybe im really lack of experience
and thx to gave me an experience
不是我抛弃你，而是你错过我

lastly, thx for your company.. eli
love u^^

this is enough

til now u still wan 2 lie...
i really cant differentiate which is the true
or not even 1 is.
telling me d different things to me and her
i cant accept your greediness.
want 2 leave a good image to both of us..
tell me u don't like her.....
what a stupid thing that i believe
and now is really enough

dont u can think that u can share your love for 2 person
dont think that u r d only 1 to can be the greedy 1
n i wan 2 tell u
im not that kind to allow u to fooling in front of me
dont u think that u can be forgive
im not that generous

n im really disappointed that being a friend of me can out with them n being nothing of it..

Being an idiot..

early d morning facebooking...
want 2 add her as a friend
sudden saw her blog, know was been cheated so much n long..
im being idiot for these period..
haha... even me cant accept this.
make me cant eat n sleep ....
is already 04:40
til nw im stil facebooking..
viewing the sweet comment between them that i dont feel to see.
N i dunno whats the meaning for it..
make myself so disgusting.
just want vomit but nothing in my stomach
feel to eat during d mid nite but i cant eat
it makes me cant focus on my work n study
i dont feel 2 go to class
just skip class.. who cares...
i just wan to drunk!!! no sleep, no eating

i left my partner

the day finally comes..... N i'm trying to avoid this fact that she is leaving.. a person can chat with me every nite on the phone at least an hour.. to share my happiness and sadness.. N today she was going to migrate to Australia.. i lost a company in my life.. i cant chat with her every nite as usual, no 1 company watch movie, hv lunch or dinner, share secret n etc...
she really occupied a lot of time in my life n suddenly she was gone.. to another country.. i feel so lonely without her.. who i got to call every nite? ans : no 1 will..
today all d buddies went 2 airport go have a good bye for her.. except kengli, hanhan n pek wei
but they all still get a call 2 say good bye also..
almost every1 gave their tears to mich when waiting her to leave..
n d most cry baby is still mich.. haha^^
every1 are hoping that this day would not come.. but at last we still need 2 accept that..
every1 will be unusual without her cuz she is a part of it in our group..
n no 1 can be replace..
every 1 will bless u all d best and good luck..
be happy n lucky..

after that, we went 2 makan..
we went ming tian n get full our stomach..
wai kong n Jhan eu have a competition 2 finish 1 特加麻辣腊肠for each of them..
they total drink 4 glass teh ais after finish that 1 sausage.. n they 2 start to drop tears n sweat..
miss yellow, little alien, mr fo, chicken hong and frog also kena d spicy of sausage..
n my lips turn sausage shape when i kena it..
all is alvin's fault..